I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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