So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
