There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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