Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
