That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
