Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
