kristin has been a bad kristin
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
