It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
