Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
