What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
