That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i out mim tonsoeep
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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