On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
