The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
