Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize