I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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