I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
