She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
