she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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