I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize