it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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