How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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