I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
