They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
