All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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