I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
