Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
