I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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