I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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