I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
