There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
