I skipped work to stalk him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
