i think my tv is drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
