i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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