I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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