I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
