Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
