Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You're like the curious george of whores
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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