none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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