I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
