butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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