After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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