she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
