No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It was confusing and full of hummus
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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