Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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