Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
