She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
