The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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