he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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