Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
