The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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