Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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  (507): Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends http://tfl.nu/oo5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1130) Bad night (1607)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (929) Bad night (4734)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1128) Bad night (5077)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.

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  (816): He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork. http://tfl.nu/6zkt
  Replies (37) Good night (15742) Bad night (1139)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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  (501): we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american" http://tfl.nu/1xh1
  Replies (26) Good night (7971) Bad night (1091)
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  (315): View more from New York

  yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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  (315): yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms... http://tfl.nu/res2
  Replies (13) Good night (1987) Bad night (731)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE

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  (604): We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE http://tfl.nu/3jc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1889) Bad night (1722)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?

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  (978): Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th? http://tfl.nu/27j9
  Replies (12) Good night (3312) Bad night (803)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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  (231): I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk. http://tfl.nu/qjr2
  Replies (4) Good night (2124) Bad night (995)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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  (352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor
  Replies (8) Good night (2620) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1495) Bad night (620)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1873) Bad night (407)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1287) Bad night (487)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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  (608): Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this. http://tfl.nu/002x
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (293)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth

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  (802): She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth http://tfl.nu/i0xq
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (387)

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