Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.