Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle http://tfl.nu/hm2k
  Replies (23) Good night (826) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (236) Good night (66421) Bad night (3011)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81
  Replies (14) Good night (6195) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute?? http://tfl.nu/snv5
  Replies (11) Good night (8186) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later? http://tfl.nu/a1oo
  Replies (18) Good night (6331) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester. http://tfl.nu/c1r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2106) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (953) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungry

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I'm hungry (1-215): Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex http://tfl.nu/pt2l
  Replies (4) Good night (2125) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3
  Replies (17) Good night (1231) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (957) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night... http://tfl.nu/5nvm
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work. http://tfl.nu/gsqk
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Didn't you used to babysit him?

  (607): View more from New York

  18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Didn't you used to babysit him? (607): 18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine. http://tfl.nu/bfck
  Replies (8) Good night (1678) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night. http://tfl.nu/0bdl
  Replies (5) Good night (433) Bad night (412)

Randomize