Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pappa wants mamma naked

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  (847): Pappa wants mamma naked http://tfl.nu/uc4c
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

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  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

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  (704): Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/j2as
  Replies (44) Good night (3439) Bad night (1931)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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  (248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq
  Replies (126) Good night (16870) Bad night (2044) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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  (847): I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore. http://tfl.nu/qnk6
  Replies (32) Good night (938) Bad night (4706) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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  (412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4
  Replies (15) Good night (7601) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?

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  (306): Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender? http://tfl.nu/l1y7
  Replies (12) Good night (4136) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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  (785): Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine.. http://tfl.nu/247z
  Replies (8) Good night (4637) Bad night (1370) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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  (613): I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line. http://tfl.nu/g6vr
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (4354) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch

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  (613): OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch http://tfl.nu/pswe
  Replies (7) Good night (6741) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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  (815): My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time. http://tfl.nu/dmh2
  Replies (9) Good night (2506) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no

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  (765): I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no http://tfl.nu/iykq
  Replies (11) Good night (1751) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!

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  (920): YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN! http://tfl.nu/7v2u
  Replies (21) Good night (1276) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."

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  (330): At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS." http://tfl.nu/bswl
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (707)
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  (925): View more from California

  I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

  (415): View more from California

  I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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  (925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (312)

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