Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

(505): View more from New Mexico

god you guys know how to party

(650): View more from California

worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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(772): View more from Florida

Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.

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(518): View more from New York

you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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(627): View more from California

The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.

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(718): View more from New York

I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.

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