Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.

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  (256): You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass. (1-256): That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years. (256): Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that. (1-256): Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham. http://tfl.nu/egwd
  Replies (54) Good night (5140) Bad night (910)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

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  (770): Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet http://tfl.nu/7ieb
  Replies (58) Good night (940) Bad night (19790)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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  (641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon. http://tfl.nu/inm7
  Replies (41) Good night (9468) Bad night (1617)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god

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  (304): Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god http://tfl.nu/7ezr
  Replies (21) Good night (6362) Bad night (818)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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  (808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b
  Replies (15) Good night (4735) Bad night (1163)
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  (716): View more from New York

  he smelled like listerine and beef tacos

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  (716): he smelled like listerine and beef tacos http://tfl.nu/l079
  Replies (9) Good night (753) Bad night (4606)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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  (703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc
  Replies (21) Good night (1005) Bad night (6699)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It usually does with you

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  (717): Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit (1-717): It usually does with you http://tfl.nu/9ly0
  Replies (6) Good night (4339) Bad night (1010)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.

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  (203): Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again. http://tfl.nu/p8rx
  Replies (11) Good night (1260) Bad night (2641)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2910) Bad night (1466)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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  (314): Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/614c
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (807)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (560)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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  (508): in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram http://tfl.nu/qw4a
  Replies (12) Good night (777) Bad night (942)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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  (902): after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart. http://tfl.nu/tash
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (339)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  he seemed brazillian..

  (312): View more from Illinois

  fuck.

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  (312): I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face (1-312): he seemed brazillian.. (312): fuck. http://tfl.nu/np08
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (541)

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