we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
