So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
