I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
