I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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