Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My feet surprised me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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