Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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