You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Life is so much better after having sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
