You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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