I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
