i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize