I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
