Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
