Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
